when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
