adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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