Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
