He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
