If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
