He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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