went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
