I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
