May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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