we made out on top of his cat.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize