I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
