everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
