I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
