I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize