So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
