Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
