How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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