Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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