i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
