So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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