I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize