We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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