Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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