Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
