I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
