Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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