He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
