no, he came in my armpit
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
