We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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