Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
