I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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