Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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