so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
