He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
my poor anus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
