Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
