at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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