He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That was an excessively violent trivia night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
