Your face is a jimmy john
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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