Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
