Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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