Cold hands, warm shart.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
