Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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