i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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