I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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