I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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