dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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