East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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