I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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