It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I want her autograph on my taint
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
