thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
