I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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