Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
