erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
