when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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