Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
