Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
