Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize