Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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