I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
