didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
