Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
