But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you never un-have a 4some
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
