Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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