bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize