I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
