PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
