I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
