"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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