I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
