Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
