I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
