Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
