Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
