just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
